


Love is Blind

by counting2fifteen



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Cochlear Implants, Fluff and Angst, Hearing aids, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sign Language, argument, but like mostly angst, deaf!Phil, this was supposed to be cute, where did I go wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:34:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22261156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/counting2fifteen/pseuds/counting2fifteen
Summary: Phil is deaf and turns off his hearing aids whenever Dan tries to argue with him, so Dan learns sign langauge.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 16
Kudos: 109





	Love is Blind

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to [flymetomanchester](https://flymetomanchester.tumblr.com) for betaing! additionally I’d like to add that while I did do a decent amount of research for this fic and I don’t think I included anything horribly offensive, I’m not perfect and it’s possible I messed something up somewhere. Please be gentle with me!

Phil had some bad habits, he’d admit. For one, he always left his socks out, and he never remembered to close kitchen cupboards. For another, he wasn’t that great at communication. He hated confrontation and avoided it at all costs.

Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately, depending on who you asked), Phil was able to go to more lengths than most people to avoid confrontation. Whenever he didn’t want to listen to anyone, he could just turn off the cochlear implant just behind his left ear and the hearing aid he wore in his right, and he wouldn’t be able to hear anyone anymore.

His boyfriend wasn’t the biggest fan of this coping mechanism, but his boyfriend would have to get used to it, Phil thought irritably, turning his hearing aids off, taking them out, and putting them on the kitchen counter.

Phil felt Dan’s hand land briefly on his arm. “I can’t hear you,” he said, turning to face Dan and pointing to his ears.

Dan rolled his eyes and said something, eyes dark. Phil never learned to read lips, but Dan looked angry. “Later,” Phil said, kicking his shoes off.

“I said,” Dan signed, “Clean up your socks.”

Phil’s eyes widened.

Dan remained where he was, smirking, his hands on his hips.

It was exactly the kind of thing Dan would do, Phil thought, with an amount of irritation he knew was irrational. Learning an entire language Phil was fluent in without once consulting Phil or asking him for help, just so Dan could be in this exact situation and piss Phil off.

“Since when can you sign?” Phil signed.

Dan dismissed him with a flick of his wrist. “Put your socks away. They’re getting gross.”

“Clean them up yourself,” Phil signed.

That was the wrong thing to say, apparently. “They’re your fucking socks,” Dan signed, his hands flying so aggressively Phil worried they might hit something.

“I’m tired,” Phil signed, “Can we talk later?”

“No,” Dan signed.

Phil had already turned off his ears. There was only one thing left to do. He closed his eyes.

“I can’t hear you,” Phil signed. “My eyes are closed.”

Dan probably signed back. Or said something back. If he did, Phil wouldn’t know. He turned around, opening his eyes a crack so he could see his way to his bedroom. Dan slid to block his way. “Stop acting like a child,” he signed.

Phil hesitated. With Dan was blocking Phil’s way to the rest of their flat, he had significantly fewer options. He could leave, but his ears hurt and he was tired and didn’t want to deal with the outside world right now. He could stay, but he didn’t really want to deal with Dan right now, either.

“You’re an adult,” Dan signed. “You can’t just ignore me for no fucking reason.”

There was technically one more option. He could put his socks away.

“You always do this,” Dan signed.

Phil gritted his teeth. “Fine,” he signed.

Dan dropped his hands, momentarily startled. “Fine?” he signed back, hesitant.

“I’ll clean the socks up,” Phil signed, moving past Dan so he could reach the offending items. He gathered them up, tossing them onto the floor of his room. Dan still wouldn’t be happy with that, but he’d have to live.

He turned back to see Dan standing in their kitchen door, his mouth agape.

“Happy?” Phil signed. He turned away before he could see Dan’s response, slamming his door behind him. It probably made a very satisfying noise. He wouldn’t know.

He threw himself onto his bed, losing himself in the endless scroll of twitter and wishing he had brought his hearing aids with so he could drown himself in music too.

It was maybe an hour later when he emerged from his room to talk to Dan. Dan was still sitting on their sofa, staring at the TV, eyes slightly reddened. He moved to sit up, doing something with the TV remote. The light from the TV screen stopped flickering, painting Dan’s face a solid blue. He looked like he was about to say something, but Phil interrupted him.

“In a minute,” he said.

Dan nodded.

Phil ducked into the kitchen to grab his hearing aids from their counter. He returned to the living room and sat next to Dan on the sofa.

“My ears are back in,” he said. “Though your sign language is pretty good. For a beginner.” He bumped Dan’s shoulder.

Dan smiled weakly. He leaned into Phil’s touch, resting his head on Phil’s shoulder. Phil closed his eyes, wrapping his arm around Dan to bring him closer. Dan turned his head, burying his face in the place where Phil’s shoulder met his neck. Phil didn’t need his hearing aids to be able to feel Dan’s quiet sobs work their way through his body, wetting the collar of Phil’s T-shirt. Phil pulled Dan closer, his chest aching.

“I’m sorry,” he said, though he barely knew what he was apologizing for. He just knew he would say anything to make those awful sounds Dan was making stop. “I’m so sorry.” Dan just cried harder.

“I love you,” Phil said. “And I really want to promise to never leave my socks out ever again to make you stop crying but I think we both know that won’t happen.”

“Probably not,” Dan said, giggling through his tears. They lapsed into silence.

“I don’t like fighting with you,” Phil finally said.

“I don’t like fighting with you either,” Dan answered.

“Then why do we do it?” Phil asked. He seemed to be asking himself just as much as Dan.

“I don’t know,” Dan said, turning his face to look at Phil. “Probably because you never put your socks away.”

Phil laughed.

Dan’s voice turned serious again. “I hate it when you turn off your hearing aids like that. It makes me feel like you’re ignoring me.”

“It’s a bad habit,” Phil admitted. “I just… I really don’t like arguing.”

“Ignoring me is going to start way more fights than leaving your socks on the sofa will.”

Dan was probably right, but that didn’t mean he had to admit it. “But ignoring you means I don’t have to fight with you at that moment, and I have terrible impulse control.”

Dan sighed. “You do. But Phil, I know I should have learned to sign a long time ago, and I’m sorry that I didn’t for so long. But it shouldn’t have been because you literally refused to listen to me.”

“I know,” Phil said.

“You’re going to do it again, aren’t you.” Dan didn’t say it like a question.

“Probably,” Phil admitted.

“I hate you,” Dan said softly. “Sometimes I fucking hate you so much.”

“I’ll try,” Phil promised. 

Dan nodded. “Good.”

They lapsed into silence again, but more comfortably this time. Dan put his head back on Phil’s shoulder.

Phil eyed the TV remote, but he didn’t want to move to get it. Dan noticed and scooped it up for him.

“What do you want to watch?” he asked, opening Netflix.

“You can pick,” Phil said, conceding.

Dan smiled. Phil immediately regretted his decision. He watched helplessly as Dan pulled up Riverdale.

Phil groaned and turned off his hearing aids. Dan smirked and turned the subtitles on.

**Author's Note:**

> [like/rb on tumblr](https://counting2fifteen.tumblr.com/post/190263143633/love-is-blind) if you feel so inclined!


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